McDonald's and Miller High Life

When Food Plus Beer went on its first two culinary missions to Monster B’s and Black Bear, the trips were predetermined. Kyle and I had brainstormed earlier in the day and picked restaurants based on appeal, specials, and overall relevance to our cause. We were accompanied by friends of the blog, ate at dinnertime, and paid attention to our surroundings for fun anecdotes. This was nothing like that.

So, it’s about 9 PM, and Kyle and I are polishing off glass number 2 or 3 of his homebrewed Porter. Here’s a riddle for you: How do you get beer out of the fridge without opening it? Easy. Install a tap.

This is the greatest thing Kyle’s ever done, and I’m so excited about it that I’m threatening to abandon the rest of this post and list 100 or so reasons why every American should have a tap on their fridge. But I won’t.

Anyway, not eating dinner and throwing back homebrews alerted us to the fact that we were both hungry, and eating took precedence over watching The Office at that particular time. We discussed criteria for food.

1. Leftovers won’t cut it.
2. Can’t be expensive.
3. Faster is better.
4. Preferable if food is endorsed by creepy clown.

Do you see where this is going? That’s right. The Golden Arches.But we needed a beer that was appropriate for the mission. How’s your SAT score?

Filet Mignon is to Homebrewed Kegerator Beer as McDonald’s is to ___________.

If you said Miller High Life, give yourself a pat on the back. We grabbed 2 MLHs from my house and headed to the drive thru. 4 McDoubles, 1 McChicken, 2 small fries. $7.60. Amazing.

Note: I’ve always been suspicious that the McDouble is the Double Cheeseburger. We asked, and they said that the Double Cheeseburger has an extra slice of cheese. For 60 cents extra. What a curious pricing maneuver. Also, I cannot reiterate enough, never leave the drive-thru without looking in your bag first. Your order gets messed up approximately 300% of the time. Although, they got ours right this time – fate must have been on our side. I credit the lucky High Life cans. We’ll get back to this in a second.

So, we get back to Kyle’s house and we pound the food as you might expect. The smell of grease permeates the house. There is a tacit understanding that both of us are going to be fighting over the bathroom in the near future. I love McDonald’s.

And that brings us to the Miller High Life. What can you say, it’s cheap beer. You get what you pay for. But the reason I bought Miller High Life was the cans. They are hilarious; head to toe in camouflage. You know, except for the label and everything. This is definitely the beer to drink on a deer hunt. Or an Army mission. Or when you’re hiding in a pile of leaves waiting to scare children. Beer already makes me giggle – beer in a camouflage can gets me even sillier. Which is why Kyle and I decided to test out the can’s ability to blend into its surroundings.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t see it anywhere.

Like a chameleon.

-Ryan